I'm an atheist. But I am sentimental..geeez.



I forgot I was loving you
Disappeared for an hour or two
And I came to on a cold, wood floor
And I didn't feel so good anymore

Now we clasp our hands
And we make demands
That the clouds will say what's wrong with you now

And we had big plans
Now alone we stand
In the crowd and they're not even laughing out loud
They don't care

I'll shut my eyes and let tv
Whisper, laugh and talk to me
And I'll curl up tight inside my head
Killing time 'til the whole day is dead

And I'll clasp my hands
And I'll make demands
That the clouds are asking what's wrong with him now

And I had big plans
Now alone I stand
In the crowd and they're not even laughing out loud
They don't care

God, take that sound away
If you've got something to say
Say it now

It's fake and I need you not to be fake
And don't care how you make me feel
Just so you're real

Once I saw my face in a bathroom mirror
And I didn't know that I was here
But I knew my eyes and I knew my hands
I knew God would now listen to all my demands

And the sky opened up
And God interrupted
The Earth stopped dying and stopped giving birth
And when I came to on the cold, wood floor
Well, I didn't feel so good anymore

And all that sure love
And all their sweet words
I'd forgotten I'd felt and forgotten I'd heard

That was was clear
And is now so blurred and smeared
And your love felt more pure
And your love felt more pure once your voice disappeared

Let's all escape together...before work tomorrow.

Ok. So I posted that whole week's worth and so now another that ends up as a hidden shame song. Interesting? Well maybe only to me.

It's a little cheesy because of the background violin. But there's again something so gay about the innocence in Daniel's lyrics...It just makes me loopy and silly. Like a death scene on a medical drama.



Don't want to be free of hope
And I'm at the end of my rope
It's so tough just to be alive
When I feel like the living dead
I'm giving it up so plain
I'm living my life in vain
And where am I going to?
I got to really try
Try so hard to get by
And where am I going to?

I don't know where is up or down
And there ain't any love left around
Everybody wearin' a frown
Waiting for Santa to come to town
You're giving it up so plain
You're living your lives in vain
And where are you going to?
You've got to really try
Try so hard to get by
And where are you going to?
Flip on your TV
And try to make sense out of that
If we were all in the movies
Maybe we wouldn't be so bored
We're giving it up so plain
We're living our lives in vain
And where are we going to?

You gotta really try
Try so hard to get by
And where are you going to?

Goodbye, goodbye

When I met you
I could not have known this much about you
But you looked all right to me

So I led you home
Said some things I might have read
and somehow touched you
You said you loved me

You love me
Now you love me
You love me
Now you love me

Now I know I told you
When I took you in
Of my intention
How in you I could get
Do you hope you [something]
Into my defense
For in my darkest
My lack of consequence

You love me
Now you love me
You love me
Now you love me

You love me
Oh, oh, etc.

Next time you're restless.



Try and get some rest
Try and get some sleep
All these roads will take you to me
Try to slow your heart
Try and clear your head
Night is just the day giving in

A sandman parade
All on their way to encompass you
Here I will stay, though miles away I can protect you

Try and get some rest
Try and get some sleep
All these roads will take you to me
Try and slow your heart
Try and clear your head
Night is just the day breathing in

A sandman parade
All on their way to encompass you
Here I will stay, though miles away I can protect you

I'd like to think it's cute that I like chipper little songs like this.

_{..but I most likely look as if I shouldn't be allowed near the jukebox.}

Quiet little voices creep into my head,
I'm young again.

Quiet little monsters creep inside my bedroom wall,
I'm old for you.

Little words of wisdom creep into my ears,
I'll fall for you.

In any which direction, call me
I will run for you.
I'll come for you.
I'll die for you.
I'll come for you.

Quiet little voices creep into my head,
I'm young again.

Quiet little voices creep into my head,
I'm old for you.

Quiet little voices.

I'd better stop now.

Quiet little voices.

There is a man that live next door
In my neighborhood
In my neighborhood
And he gets me down...

He gets in so late at night
Always a fuss and fight
Always a fuss and fight
All through the night

I've got to get away from here
This is not a place for me to stay
I've got to take my family
We'll find a quiet place

Hear the pots and pans they fall
Bang against my wall
Bang against my wall
No rest at all

He gets in so late at night
Always a fuss and fight
Always a fuss and fight
All through the night

I've got to get away from here
This is not a place for me to stay
I've got to take my family
We'll find a quiet place

White knuckles came down to put the frighteners on
I believe she's the one that he's got his heart set on
It doesn't matter if your face doesn't fit
There's no charge for changing it

Oooh ooh
What are you doing
You see right through him
You don't have to take it when he gets cruel

Chorus:
White knuckles on black and blue skin
(1,4) You don't have to take it so you just give in
(2,3) He didn't mean to hit her but she kept laughing
White knuckles sweatin' on the headboard
He never found out what the kisser was for

Losing face with the boys while she's whispering in his ear
They never found out why they called it laughing gear
Maybe they weren't loved when they were young
Maybe they should be hung by their tongues

Oooh ooh
Under the blankets with the body jerk
He needs her like the axe needs the turkey
Making a mockery of his fancy footwork

Chorus

There's always someone new to toy with when the penny drops in the slot
Now it's all petty crime on the news at nine
But it's all she's got
Love on the never never dreams don't come cheap
I don't close my eyes when I go to sleep

Oooh ooh
It gets right under your skin
It makes you as miserable as sin but
you don't have to take it so you just give in

Chorus

Why don't you come round anymore
Mama said
He's using you
Sister said
I told you so too
When he goes through your head
You took him to be true

back into it then, yes?

This is an old Billie Holiday song that's been covered and re-covered. I picked this one because the lilt in Dolores' voice turns my crank...


You're my thrill, you do something to me
You send chills right through me when I look at you
'Cause you're my thrill

You're my thrill, how my pulse increases
I just go to pieces when I look at you
'Cause you're my thrill

Nothing seems to matter
Here's my heart on a silver platter
Where's my will? Why this strange desire?
That keeps mounting higher

When I look at you I can't keep still
You're my thrill, you know you are my thrill

Nothing seems to matter
Here's my heart on a silver platter
Where's my will? Why this strange desire?
That keeps mounting higher

When I look at you I can't keep still
You're my thrill, you know you are my thrill

He was smiling through his own personal hell
Dropped his last dime down a wishing well
But he was hoping too close
And then he fell
Now he’s Casper the friendly ghost

He was always polite to the people who’d tell him
That he was nothing but a lazy bum
But goodbye to them he had to go
Now he’s Casper the friendly ghost

No one never treated him nice
While he was alive
You can’t buy no respect
Like the librarian said
But everybody respects the dead
They love the friendly ghost

And now they say we’ll never forget
What he learned us
We were mean to him
But he never burnt us
And love lives forever
thanks to you – the friendly ghost

So you think you've found the one
And she knows just how you feel
And you say that she's for real and she's fun
Well, that's all well and good
That's just the way it should be
To understand and be understood is to be free
So I think that you should go
Go on ahead
Take her in your arms and be wed
Go go go go you restless soul, you're going to find it
Go go go go you restless soul, you're going to find it
Yes, life's a bowl of cherries
You can have as many as you can carry
And someone once said that life is like a cow
But I don't know how that applies
But anyhow here we are all on this planet
Taking everything for granted
But I think you've caught on to something
Don't let go
Go go go go you restless soul, you're going to find it
Go go go go you restless soul, you're going to find it
Oh, yes you did, you found it
Oh, yes you did, you found it
Oh, yes you did, you found it.

makes me sad.


time is a matter of fact
and it's gone and it'll never come back
and mine, it's wasted all the time
tears, stupid tears, bring me down
i got lucky by coincidence
but i got my feelings bent
and my head looking at the ground
tears, stupid tears, bring me down
how could you know that's where the wind blows
out to the wind that's where my love goes
and it brings me down
tie my brain into a knot
those tears, stupid tears, bring me down
i know that i have a friend
he stays with me all day long
he knows and i walk in his shell
i was born in the body and right from the start
those tears, stupid tears, been tearing us apart
how could i know that's where the wind blows
out to the wind that's where my love goes
and it brings me down
tie my brain into a knot
those tears, stupid tears, bring me down

makes me happy.


Trying to remember,
But my feelings can’t know for sure.
Try to reach out
But it’s gone...

Lucky stars in your eyes...
I’m walking the cow...

I really don’t know how I came here...
I really don’t know why I’m stayin’ here...
Oh, Oh, Oh. I’m walking the cow...

Tried to point my finger,
But the wind keeps blowin’ me around
In circles...circles...

Lucky stars in your eyes...
I’m walking the cow...

I really don’t know what I have to fear...
I really don’t know why I have to care...
Oh, Oh, Oh. I’m walkin’ the cow...
Lucky stars in your eyes...

Not that you want to be
Out of curiosity
Just a corsage of the world
I was in love with a girl
I would the violence foresee

All that it ought to be
Blessed by generosity
Sure to put your heart in a whirl
Stop to pick up a dollar bill
As the blood drips at the mill

You have fried chicken
You ate it up so fast
Laid down its life just for you
Now you have nothing to do
Just a television tube

Oh for goodness sake
And the love you make
Skipping stones at the lake
You have a half baked idea
To think we’d be so glad to see ya

Lost in your lonely room
How they grow up and bloom
Young girls in the magazine
How they took part in your doom
Baby step out of the room

Hunger and lust for life
She was like any housewife
Darning the socks with concern
Glad you ever were born
Just to get up in the morn

While all the while you work
Surrounding by amateurs
Craving and love showing fame
Thinking your hope was refrained
In the emotional pain

Nothing to do but cry
As you dry your eyes
Watching the soap opera die
Longing for the freedom of success
When we’re all just a temporary guest

Living in such a mess
I’ll bring you back again
To the flight you used to have been
How could you really win
Pledging your resistance to sin?

Applied in the twilight
Anything to make it right
When there’s nothing left but nothing
But an empty song
Why did it have to go wron

How it all works out
Something about it so
Thinking that love is a crime
You were a friend of mine
Standing there with missed time

You’re gonna make a joke
That is sure too follow
Happy to be that way
Tomorrow is a brand new day
What do you have to say?

When I'm down, really down,
Nothin' matters. Nothin' does.
I close my eyes, go to sleep.
But I can't sleep. I can't sleep.

Please hear my cry for help, and save me from myself.

Junior High I lost my mind.
I don't know why. It's a terrible thing.
Since that day it's been a struggle
Trying to make sense out of scrambled eggs.

Please hear my cry for help, and save me from myself.

I painted a bar and I never got paid,
In a town where everyone was on foot.
I was locked in on Easter day.
All I had to eat was a piece of bread.

When I got home my mother said
"You're a lazy bum and that's how come
You suffer like that and you'll starve
All your life. All your life."

Spoken just like it was a curse,
But it didn't really sound so bad.
I like to make things up,
It's the healthiest thing that I do.

But I'm tired
From being kidnapped
By a dark wolf that would
Do me in.

Please hear my cry for help, and save me from myself.

I'm just saying how I feel.
Maybe you could try to understand.
I'm a man who needs you.

When I'm down, really down
Nothin' matters. Nothin' does.
I close my eyes to go to sleep,
But I can't sleep. I can't sleep.

You can listen to these songs,
Have a good time and walk away.
But for me it's not that easy.
I have to live these songs forever.

Please hear my cry for help, and save me from myself.

It's getting pretty close to a year of SFTD's. Over the last month or so, it's become hard to inject new sounds and you've probably noticed the artists I like the best are in constant rotation.

Daniel Johnston's work is so basic and pure. If you're like me, you have passion in your ideas and a profound desire to express, but stifle yourself because 'putting it simply' can't be found even with a road map and a compass.

I'm going to post Daniel all this week. I think he's worth it.


Listen up and I'll tell a story
About an artist growing old
Some would try for fame and glory
Others aren't so bold

Everyone, and friends and family
Saying, "Hey! Get a job!"
"Why do you only do that only?
Why are you so odd?

We don't really like what you do.
We don't think anyone ever will.
It's a problem that you have,
And this problem's made you ill."

Listen up and I'll tell a story
About an artist growing old
Some would try for fame and glory
Others aren't so bold

The artist walks alone
Someone says behind his back,
"He's got his gall to call himself that!
He doesn't even know where he's at!"

The artist walks among the flowers
Appreciating the sun
He does this all his waking hours
But is it really so wrong?

They sit in front of their TV
Saying, "Hey! This is fun!"
And they laugh at the artist
Saying, "He doesn't know how to have fun."
The best things in life are truly free

Singing birds and laughing bees
"You've got me wrong", says he.
"The sun don't shine in your TV"

Listen up and I'll tell a story
About an artist growing old
Some would try for fame and glory
Others aren't so bold

Everyone, and friends and family
Saying, "Hey! Get a job!"
"Why do you only do that only?
Why are you so odd?
We don't really like what you do.
We don't think anyone ever will.
It's a problem that you have,
And this problem's made you ill."

Listen up and I'll tell a story
About an artist growing old.
Some would try for fame and glory
Others just like to watch the world.

Hand hurts today (is he talking about his fucking hand again tonight?? well, yeah). Enrique has seriously been abusing me in pt.

Down to business. I love this song. I don't feel like this song today. But the longing in it..just wow.

Like I'm sure someone pulls out Tapestry during a rainy Saturday, I hold songs like this out. Convinced that when I feel like this song, it will be perfect.


I can't wait for long my darling all I have to keep me strong
All I have will go, all I have will go
And I move on, and I move on
And I am aching, and I'm aching

I can't wait for long I'm sorry, all I have has left me gone
I can't stay for long I'm sorry, all that's left kept me strong
And I move on, and I move on
And I am aching, and I'm aching
And I move on

This song has been running through my head all week. I'll post it as a hidden shame.


There were bells on the hill
But I never heard them ringing,
No, I never heard them at all
Till there was you.

There were birds in the sky
But I never saw them winging
No, I never saw them at all
Till there was you.

And there was music,
And there were wonderful roses,
They tell me,
In sweet fragrant meadows of dawn, and dew.

There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No, I never heard it at all
Till there was you!

you can't be like me
but be happy that you can't
i see pain but I don't feel it
I am like the old tin man

I'm as worn as a stone
I keep it steady as I can
I see pain but I don't feel it
I am like the old tin man

I miss it
I miss it (oh)
I miss that
feeling of feeling

I used to fill the sky around
with happiness and joy
I had news to give the wind
to keep my sails and heart employed

I felt people move around me
I felt loneliness and shame
back then everyday was different
now each moment is the same

I miss it
I miss it (oh)
I miss that feeling of feeling

I miss it
I miss it (oh)
I miss that feeling of feeling

the feeling of feeling

the wind upon my face
and caring what it brings this way
the feeling of feeling
these minutes pass away
and caring what I do with them
baby bring me life or something else

so it goes a man grows cold
some would say a man grows strong
they say life only grows short
I say the road only grows long

as long as there's a road
my feet will never touch the ground
if you won't give my heart back
I've no need to stick around

I miss it
I miss it (oh)
I miss that
feeling of feeling

the feeling of feeling
the feeling of feeling

He's a show-er.



You hurt me so bad, you were the best friend I ever had
Now I’m crawlin’ in my shoes
Tryin’ to get back to you
Impossible Love
I just can’t get to you
Impossible Love
I’m tangled up in you
You left me so long
I can remember the times
How we really cared, all the dreams that we shared
Impossible Love
I just can’t get to you
Impossible Love
I’m tangled up in you
My life just goes on, and what have I become
You were the only one, you were my shining sun
Impossible Love
I just can’t get to you
Impossible Love
I’m tangled up in you
I just can’t believe that it’s all over
I just want a chance to see you again
To see you again
You were my one true love, with the light from above
And I’m hurting because I want more of your love
But it’s Impossible Love
I just can’t get to you
Impossible Love
I’m tangled up in you
I have nothing to say, and my mind’s in decay
And I‘m all alone, thinking of days gone by
Impossible Love
I just can’t get to you
Impossible Love
I’m tangled up in you

Please allow me to be sickening :) A very tough Monday was just had and I need the soft pillows.


I'm asleep but she's talking to me
She's walking 'round wearing all of my clothes
As she runs out of things to say
And grabs my coat to walk away

How 'bout another first kiss, she said
How 'bout another first kiss, I said
I want another first kiss like this
How 'bout another first kiss

Other people were too sentimental
Always worrying about their hair
Got tired of wasting all my time
Now I'm not worrying at all

How 'bout another first kiss, she said
How 'bout another first kiss, I said
I want another first kiss like this
How 'bout another first kiss

You could tell me we belong together
And I could tell you, you belong with me
But we've run out of things to say
And we'll be happy anyway, so

How 'bout another first kiss, she said
How 'bout another first kiss, I said
I want another first kiss like this
How 'bout another first kiss

How 'bout another first kiss, she said
How 'bout another first kiss, I said
I want another first kiss like this
How 'bout another first kiss

Having a pretty decent rainy Sunday indoors.

I always held back this song because it fits into a Christmas themed week. Thing is, I need a touching song to finish up Okkervil River week coinciding with the oh so sappy, saturday hidden shame theme.


Home is where beds are made and butter is added to toast. On a cold afternoon you can float room to room like a ghost. Take the crèche out and argue about who gets to set up the kings. And I know that it’s home because that’s where the stereo sings “I’ve got dreams to remember.” But not even home can be with you forever. It’s Christmastime and the plane flies me over white hills to a town in a dream, where the sky is frozen and still, and a room (that’s not mine but it’s just like I left it before, with the wax from the candles all dusty and locks on the door) where I held you so tenderly, and where in summer I opened your letter to me. I’m standing where we knelt and a miracle mile now borders it, but if I turn my back and look at the field I don’t even notice it for a second. There’s a tangle of greenery where winter scenery ends. And I hear that song sometimes and imagine us much more than friends - like if we stayed in this town, bought the first house that went up on sale, and how each Christmastime would bring inlaws and snowdays and holiday mail. Your dad says you’re living in Georgia since last September. Well, “I’ve got dreams to remember.” I’ve got dreams to remember. Oh Sara, come back to New Hampshire. We’ll stay here forever.